We have a dog. It's not my dog; I didn't even want it. I consider it a crime against animals to have a dog in an apartment, and we live in an apartment. Our apartment isn't huge either. I don't want to sleep on the mattress because it gets too hot and sometimes it feels wet because I sweat so much in those sleepless nights that invariably occur ( Read more... )

On Monday, 20th September, blualuminum invited my friend Christina to a sports game and I was allowed to tag along: The Anaheim Angels vs. The Texas Rangers. Apparently these are baseball teams, and they would be playing in the Anaheim Angels stadium. The stadium first presented itself on approach over the horizon of the 57 freeway as a giant ball of light. ( Read more... )

(this entry needs a better title, please leave your suggestions in the comment section be-looooow)

I've made a big deal about Riverside being a barren wasteland, both literally and metaphorically, so it came as a surprise when I was driving down University Avenue and saw the Star Trek Exhibition had rolled into town. The proper, official one.


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So yeah, I wrote a 7-minute buddy-cop comedy movie. Here it is:

Sarah, the director, wanted to have a writer's commentary, but we didn't find the time. This is the closest you're going to get.

It all happened rather suddenly. Andrew Yung-An "Yin Yang"* Kung came over to my apartment at some dark ungodly hour saying that Sarah Bakabak wanted me ( Read more... )

What's this? Is this an article about the hunt for the world's funniest joke on page 153 of last December's Reader's Digest?


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Sometimes I get an urge to just go somewhere, and I thought it might be nice to check out one of the northern cities. New York is too big and Chicago is too windy, so I settled on Detroit ( Read more... )

I have a cold. Because I am a man, I've been acting like a little bitch about it. I'm in bed all day coughing like a lunatic, sneezing and complaining to the walls. Yesterday morning, my lungs started to hurt. I made an amateur judgement that I might have pneumonia and wanted a doctor to look at me. I put "doctor" and "riverside" into Google and ( Read more... )

Time: 4:30pm, Friday, April 2
Place: The stationery aisle of Wal*Mart, Moreno Valley, CA
Participants: Me, Nancy, Christina.

Christina: Are you going to help us paint eggs ( Read more... )

I transcribed as best I could another late-night telephone call. This time it was with some poor sap who thought he was getting somewhere with a moderately attractive young lady."I think I'm doing well ( Read more... )

Another late night IM conversation. I had just seen Frost/Nixon. The intention was to give a brief review, but then it turned into something else, as these things often do.
(3:23:51 AM) _______: Was it any good ( Read more... )